Sacrifice for an Heir
There once was a great king named Damasutin. He was a great
mighty king that had won over his people with his great war prowess. He had
fought many a man as well as many demons. He was a champion to his people and a
feared warrior to his enemies. Damasutin got married and like any king tried to
give birth to an heir. His first wife was unable to give him what he desired so
he married again and tried to have a son. Yet again he was let down. He married
once more and prayed to the gods for an heir asking them for their service. Sadly,
his wives were unable to conceive.
The wives wept in their frustration and pleaded
with the gods on their husband’s behalf. They prayed without ceasing while they
had their servants set up a sacrificial bed that they might sacrifice a great
mighty boar. When the time came at the first light of dawn, they sacrificed the
boar along with many other offerings they felt would please Draknor their god.
Draknor responded to them and said since they sacrificed to him and since they
had such strong faith they would be blessed. He promised each of them that they
would bear one son each. When they heard this news, the wives were so pleased
they ran to their husband and fell at his feet crying. He asked them what they
were crying for. The wives said in unison that Draknor the god blessed them and
that he was to have three male heirs! The king was overjoyed with the news and called
for a celebration in honor of the news.
Authors Notes: This is a bit of a combination of both King Dasharatha
and Dasharatha’s Sons by Donald A. Mackenzie. My story was a retelling of the two with minor changes. Firstly,
the king remarried each time he was unable to have an heir to his wife. In the
original story this was not the case. The king simply had three wives that were
unable to give him an heir. I also changed the sacrifice from a horse to a
boar. The decision for the sacrifice in my story was made by the queens instead
of Damasutin. I also changed that instead of four gods coming due to the
sacrifice one came. I also threw in a celebration at the end which was not in
the original story.
Bibliography: Ramayana, Indian Myth and Legend, Donald A. Mackenzie
Wow, I must first say good job on the innovative names, also I loved your story though it had changes to its original story it is good. I wonder if adding dialogues to this would have made it more fun as dialogues shows the character and would make it more easy to understand because I was first confused what story did your story belong to. This story to me resembled more to Mahabharata where tehre is a story how the 5 Pandavas were born by blessings of 5 different gods when their mother Kunti was given a boon for serving a sage. Kunti's husband was given a curse that he cannot touch a woman i he does he will die and so he could not have heirs but got god babies, maybe if you add dialogues and more characters to those dialogues would make story a little more clear but your story is very innovative and I loved reading it overall.
ReplyDeleteHey Dallas! First up, I really like the names you used for the characters in your story? Did you make them up or is there any particular meaning behind them? I Googled "Damasutin" to no avail (all of the results appeared to be in German). I also like the little twists you added to the original story. It's interesting how you had the king remarry but still end up being a polygamist. Also the use of Moloch for your picture was fascinating. Any reason behind that selection?
ReplyDeleteHi Dallas! I loved being able to read your story this week. Both of the stories you told were some of my favorite stories we have read so far so it was interesting to be to see how you put a twist on them! I really enjoy getting to see how everyone interprets these stories differently! Definitely cool to read!
ReplyDeleteHi Dallas! I think your retelling of this episode from the Ramayana is really interesting, especially the way you gave the story a newer, darker, more fantasy-like feel with the names and your word choice -- using a lot of verbs with negative connotations allows for the reader to feel the atmosphere of the story as heavier, both with emotional weight and dark circumstances. I wonder if you could have included more of a conclusion to the story. The women are able to conceive, but I want to know more -- are there rivalries like with Kaikeyi? Do the sons grow up to be friendly with one another? Does the king love them all equally? Giving your story more of a complete wrap-up will allow readers to feel more satisfied with the ending. What if you included one woman who could not conceive? What conflicts would arise as a consequence of her exclusion from the celebration and honor of raising a royal son? What if one was a daughter? Two? All three? What if the god who granted their wish required more of them than a sacrifice and their faith?
ReplyDeleteThis was a very compelling part of the Ramayana story as it is how the King was able to bear sons with his barren wives, giving the story it's most prominent characters. I think with some dialogue this story could be brought to a whole other level in bringing the reader in and making them feel in the middle of the action even if if the narrator is a third person point of view, I wonder if you considered this? Still, I love that the story leaves with a bit of a cliff hanger since after the characters are able to conceive we are left wondering what the lives of their offspring entailed. So though some may have felt this was a drawback, I think it doesn't have to be seen as negative!
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